Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Resolve to know more... Monica J. of So Family Online shares her infertility story #NIAW



Monica J. of So Family Online is a fellow Essence Mom.  She and her significant other have are in their mid to late 30’s, and have been trying to conceive for a year; however, due to a recent surgery,  they have to postpone TTC for 6 months.

Did you tell people you’re trying to conceive or did you keep it a secret?
It was a secret at first, but eventually I spoke to family members about it because I knew something was wrong when I wasn't having any luck conceiving.

Do you feel pressure from your spouse, family or friends to have a baby? If so, how does that make you feel and how do you deal with it?
I do feel slight pressure from family members, but I don't believe they realize that they add pressure. They are all just excited about us possibly creating a new life and growing our family.

When did you realize you were unable to conceive naturally? How did you feel?
I believe everyone's journey to conceiving is different. I'm at the point in my journey where I haven't been told I can't conceive naturally, but I'm aware that I've hit some bumps in the road. I have an amazing doctor guiding me through this important time in my life. Due to a large fibroid pushing on my left Fallopian tube I was experiencing problems with conceiving. I also lost my right ovary 2 years ago, so it's extremely important that my left ovary and Fallopian tube are free from obstruction. My doctor believes this may have been the reason I have not been able to conceive. I recently had all of my fibroids removed.

How does the word ‘infertility’ make you feel?
The word infertility scares me. It doesn't make me feel there are no options, but it definitely brings up feelings of frustration and nervousness.

What do you believe is the biggest misconception about infertility?
The biggest misconception about infertility, in my opinion, is that women have no options once that word is introduced.

How has infertility and TTC affected your personal relationships?
It has made me more aware of my body, the process of conceiving and it has allowed me to share my story with other women. This journey has also opened me up to talking to other women and listening to their stories. I have learned so much from other women.

What have you learned about yourself and personal relationships through this journey?
I have learned that I'm much stronger than I thought. My relationship with my significant other has become stronger and he's been my strength when I'm down and constant support system.

Who has been your biggest source of strength and support throughout your journey TTC?
My significant other and my mother.

How do you deal with the stress of TTC?
I make sure to communicate with my family, friends and those around me. I also relieve a lot stress through dance classes. It feels good to release stress on the dance floor to the beat of drums. I love West African dance.

What would you tell other women and couples struggling with infertility and losing hope of ever getting pregnant?
There is always another way. Things may not go the way you planned it but never give up and be open to listen to different options.

Why do you think it’s important for you to share your story about infertility and TTC?
It's important to know and understand the struggles of other women and for women to know they are not the only ones dealing with complications. Someone may learn from my story, because I have learned from so many other women.

Is there anything you would have done differently?
No, absolutely not. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. This is the path in life I was given and I'm taking it.

You may connect with Monica on the following social networks:





If you’re interested in having your story featured, check out my post “Resolve to know more…” . I’m still recruiting people to [anonymously] interview to raise awareness during Infertility Awareness Week, which is April 20th – April 26th. Visit NIAW Blogger's Unite Challenge to read more blog posts on the theme: "Resolve to know more..."

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Resolve to Know More... Jessica C. shares her infertility story #NIAW



Blogger Jessica C. and her husband, both in their early 30’s have been trying to conceive their first child for over 5 years. 

Did you tell people you’re trying to conceive or did you keep it a secret?
We told immediate family and very close friends.

Do you feel pressure from your spouse, family or friends to have a baby? If so, how does that make you feel and how do you deal with it?
From my mom; I'm an only child and their only hope for grandchildren.

When did you realize you were unable to conceive naturally? How did you feel?
We knew there would be a problem before we started trying- he is diabetic (sugar is out of control) and I never had a regular cycle. Our insurance stated we had to document trying on our own for a year before we could even speak to a specialist. We had it documented 6/2009 (married in May) and saw a specialist in July 2010 after temping and using ovulation kits for a year. That's when we officially found out that I have PCOS and he has severely bad count/motility.

How does the word ‘infertility’ make you feel?
Sad. I hate to think that we're "infertile" because we're not, we just need help to make things happen.

What do you believe is the biggest misconception about infertility?
That it's wrong to use science to help you conceive. I hate being told that if I were meant to be a mother, I'd have a child naturally- I can't accept that it's just not meant to be.

How has infertility and TTC affected your personal relationships?
Horribly! We fight, we resent each other- or really I resent him. After seeing a specialist in 2010 we knew we had to try IUI to conceive but insurance covered nothing and we couldn't afford it. So things were put on the back burner but my husband strayed for a bit and a whole lot of complications came along causing us to put our attempt to conceive on hold until 2013. When we saw a new specialist with better insurance we found out that his Diabetes not being controlled had caused his sperm to worsen and now our only hope is IVF. I can't help feeling mad at him that we postponed because of his selfishness.

What have you learned about yourself and personal relationships through this journey?
I'm more determined than ever to have a child, but my husband strayed for a bit and a whole lot of complications came along causing us to put our attempt to conceive on hold until 2013. When we saw a new specialist with better insurance we found out that his Diabetes not being controlled had caused his sperm to worsen and now our only hope is IVF. I can't help feeling mad at him that we postponed because of his selfishness, and is unbelievably selfish and immature. I'm no longer certain he's the man who should father my children.

Who has been your biggest source of strength and support throughout your journey TTC?
My best friend. It took 3 IUIs for her to conceive her son, she's the only friend I have who truly understands what it's like to want something so badly and have to work so hard for it.

How do you deal with the stress of TTC?
I cry a lot. I enjoy wine in between treatments. For the most part, I just vent to my friend. I'm also a part of several support groups on Facebook and Google+ which are tremendously helpful.

What would you tell other women and couples struggling with infertility and losing hope of ever getting pregnant?
Don't give up! You never know when things will come together and you'll get your miracle. It's hard and it's sad, but it will be worth it.

Why do you think it’s important for you to share your story about infertility and TTC?
Because I'm sad to hear women who think they have to hide their struggles. I think it shouldn't be hidden, people should know that's it's more common than they think, so that they can support their friends.

Is there anything you would have done differently?
I would have pushed for more information, maybe gotten 2nd/3rd opinions when we first started out.

You may keep up with Jessica and her story by visiting her blog: stumblingalongthrulife.blogspot.com





If you’re interested in having your story featured, check out my post “Resolve to know more…” . I’m still recruiting people to [anonymously] interview to raise awareness during Infertility Awareness Week, which is April 20th – April 26th.
Visit NIAW Blogger's Unite Challenge to read more blog posts on the theme: "Resolve to know more..."

Monday, April 21, 2014

Resolve to know more... Amateur Nester's Infertility Story #NIAW



It's National Infertility Awareness Week.  During this week, I wanted to share the stories and journeys of other couples struggling with infertility just to give you different perspectives on who infertility affects, and how each person deals with it.

My first interview is with Lisa of Amateur Nester. Lisa and her husband are both in their early 30’s.  They've been trying to conceive their first child since March 2012.

Did you tell people you’re trying to conceive or did you keep it a secret?
We've told family & some friends

Do you feel pressure from your spouse, family or friends to have a baby? If so, how does that make you feel and how do you deal with it?
Our family has been very sensitive to us. We receive most pressure from acquaintances who don't know our situation.

When did you realize you were unable to conceive naturally? How did you feel?
I realized after 9 months of TTC that we were going to have issues. I was scared and assumed it was me. We were shock when testing revealed my husband also had male-factor issues.

How does the word ‘infertility’ make you feel?
I've accepted the word. It is what it is. I'm not sure how I feel about people calling me "infertile." Perhaps I am physically infertile, but I'm abundantly fertile in other areas of my life.

What do you believe is the biggest misconception about infertility?
That it's rare and a "female problem."

How has infertility and TTC affected your personal relationships?
It's brought me closer to my husband, but it has definitely made me pull away from some friendships I have. It's hard to be around friends who are pregnant or who have young children.

What have you learned about yourself and personal relationships through this journey?
I've realized that I'm stronger than I thought I was. I also realized that a lot of people have dealt with infertility, but have kept it quiet. When I open up about it, they usually do, too.

Who has been your biggest source of strength and support throughout your journey TTC?
My husband has been my rock. I've also found a tremendous source of strength in the infertility blogging community and Twitter community.

How do you deal with the stress of TTC?
I cry when I need to and I try to find the humor in it.

What would you tell other women and couples struggling with infertility and losing hope of ever getting pregnant?
I'd tell them to do your research, talk to a doctor, and try to find purpose and meaning in what you're going through.

Why do you think it’s important for you to share your story about infertility and TTC?
Too many people suffer in silence or live in ignorance. We have to break the taboo that still surrounds infertility.

Is there anything you would have done differently?
I wish I had paid attention to my fertility signs more before I started TTC. I think I would've realized much sooner that I was going to need help.

Thank you, Lisa for sharing your story!  Visit AmateurNester.com to read Lisa's latest post, in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week: "Resolve to know More About Being Sensitive to Infertility." 

You may connect with Lisa on Twitter @AmateurNester and on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/AmateurNester




If you’re interested in having your story featured, check out my post “Resolve to know more…” . I’m still recruiting people to [anonymously] interview to raise awareness during Infertility Awareness Week, which is April 20th – April 26th.