Monica J. of So Family Online is a fellow Essence Mom. She and her significant other have are in their mid to late 30’s, and have been trying to conceive for a year; however, due to a recent surgery, they have to postpone TTC for 6 months.
Did you tell people you’re trying to conceive or did you keep it a secret?
It was a secret at first, but eventually I spoke to family members about it because I knew something was wrong when I wasn't having any luck conceiving.
Do you feel pressure from your spouse, family or friends to have a baby? If so, how does that make you feel and how do you deal with it?
I do feel slight pressure from family members, but I don't believe they realize that they add pressure. They are all just excited about us possibly creating a new life and growing our family.
When did you realize you were unable to conceive naturally? How did you feel?
I believe everyone's journey to conceiving is different. I'm at the point in my journey where I haven't been told I can't conceive naturally, but I'm aware that I've hit some bumps in the road. I have an amazing doctor guiding me through this important time in my life. Due to a large fibroid pushing on my left Fallopian tube I was experiencing problems with conceiving. I also lost my right ovary 2 years ago, so it's extremely important that my left ovary and Fallopian tube are free from obstruction. My doctor believes this may have been the reason I have not been able to conceive. I recently had all of my fibroids removed.
How does the word ‘infertility’ make you feel?
The word infertility scares me. It doesn't make me feel there are no options, but it definitely brings up feelings of frustration and nervousness.
What do you believe is the biggest misconception about infertility?
The biggest misconception about infertility, in my opinion, is that women have no options once that word is introduced.
How has infertility and TTC affected your personal relationships?
It has made me more aware of my body, the process of conceiving and it has allowed me to share my story with other women. This journey has also opened me up to talking to other women and listening to their stories. I have learned so much from other women.
What have you learned about yourself and personal relationships through this journey?
I have learned that I'm much stronger than I thought. My relationship with my significant other has become stronger and he's been my strength when I'm down and constant support system.
Who has been your biggest source of strength and support throughout your journey TTC?
My significant other and my mother.
How do you deal with the stress of TTC?
I make sure to communicate with my family, friends and those around me. I also relieve a lot stress through dance classes. It feels good to release stress on the dance floor to the beat of drums. I love West African dance.
What would you tell other women and couples struggling with infertility and losing hope of ever getting pregnant?
There is always another way. Things may not go the way you planned it but never give up and be open to listen to different options.
Why do you think it’s important for you to share your story about infertility and TTC?
It's important to know and understand the struggles of other women and for women to know they are not the only ones dealing with complications. Someone may learn from my story, because I have learned from so many other women.
Is there anything you would have done differently?
No, absolutely not. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. This is the path in life I was given and I'm taking it.
You may connect with Monica on the following social networks:
If you’re interested in having your story featured, check out my post “Resolve to know more…” . I’m still recruiting people to [anonymously] interview to raise awareness during Infertility Awareness Week, which is April 20th – April 26th. Visit NIAW Blogger's Unite Challenge to read more blog posts on the theme: "Resolve to know more..."